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How to Prepare For the Perfect Holiday Season As a Couple

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The holiday season, though filled with joy, can sometimes bring along its fair share of challenges, especially when it comes to spending time with in-laws and extended family. We understand that these gatherings might be making you apprehensive, especially if there's tension or disagreement within your family dynamics. We’re here to offer some valuable insights on how to handle these situations with confidence and maintain the bond with your partner.

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Understanding the Unique Family Dynamics:

In Gottman method couples therapy, we recognize that every marriage is a cross-cultural experience. Regardless of you and your partner's backgrounds, each family is different, and when two individuals create a family together, a new culture is born. Holidays, just like weddings and funerals, often stir mixed feelings as they prompt questions about building your own family traditions, incorporating past values, and forging new paths.

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Tips for Harmonious Holiday Gatherings:

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1. Prioritize Your Partner:

During this busy time, it's easy to get swept away by the expectations of others. Remember, your partner comes first. Engage in open communication and initiate discussions using a softened startup approach. Address your concerns calmly and openly, allowing both of you to share anxieties and set boundaries. Respect each other's non-negotiables and work as a team to navigate family interactions.

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2. Manage Your Expectations:

The holidays can trigger stress and disappointment, especially when faced with differences in family traditions and values. Approach these situations with curiosity rather than judgment. Remember, everyone's family is unique, and what might seem odd to you could be a cherished tradition for someone else. Lower your expectations, focus on the quality of your time together, and accept that imperfections are part of the human experience.

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3. Pick Your Battles Wisely:

The holiday season isn't the time to resolve long-standing family issues. Be mindful of your boundaries and have an exit plan in case a situation becomes too overwhelming. Communicate openly with your partner about your needs and preferences, finding a compromise that respects both perspectives. Whether it's leaving early or having a signal for when one of you needs a break, having a plan in place can make a significant difference.

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Remember, your relationship is a team effort. By approaching the holidays with empathy, open communication, and mutual respect, you can navigate these moments successfully and emerge stronger. Wishing you all a harmonious and joyful holiday season. May your relationship always remain at the core of your celebrations.

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Click on the bottom link to read our latest blog on this topic or watch our video, with our director and Gottman-Trained therapist at Couples Counseling ATL, Stephanie Cook, where she explains in further detail. Finally, stay tuned these next couple of weeks to learn more about different upcoming topics!

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Stephanie Cook

Stephanie Cook, LCSW, is an expert relationship counselor with 17 years of clinical experience and the first certified Gottman Couples Therapist in the state of Georgia. She has been teaching as a certified Gottman Seven Principles Program Educator for seven years and is the founder and Executive Director of Couples Counseling ATL, the only Gottman method couples therapy center in the Southeast, with 7 full-time couples therapists serving couples 7 days per week.

She has been intensively trained in every offered training in the Gottman Couples Therapy Method and Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT) as well as the additional Gottman Method Trainings for Couples regarding Addiction Recovery, Infidelity, Trauma/PTSD, and Domestic Violence. She has also been trained in the PREPARE-ENRICH model of premarital counseling as well as the Discernment Method of counseling couples on the brink of divorce or separation.

Stephanie lives in Atlanta with her family, including her amazing husband and their three energetic young sons. She enjoys karaoke parties with her neighborhood friends in Grant Park, watching stand-up and improvisational comedy, family bike rides on her souped-up electric radwagon, which her husband calls "her hog", dancing, and general banter and philosophizing on the porch with her husband and friends. Check out more of Stephanie's educational videos here:

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